Dating Tips from our Guest Blogger; CityLovingGirl

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Some lessons learned:

1) You will not get picked up in crowds of more than 3, especially if guys are part of your crowd.
I’ve heard this one before.  Two girls is good, 3 girls is still acceptable because the other 2 can keep themselves occupied while a guy chats you up (or you chat the guy up).

2) You will not get picked up sitting at a table with friends.
I noticed that the girls getting all the action were the ones who were mingling at the bar, around the fountain, by the DJ booth, etc.  Not the ones sitting at tables with friends.  Nothing against sitting at tables with friends, but if you’re hoping to get picked up, it won’t happen (unless you’re the Auditor, who did get a guy come up to her while we were at our table).  You need to extricate yourself from the table and from your group of friends, and strategically place yourself where people do not feel intimidated to approach you.  Dancing near men helps as well.

3) If you’re not interested in a guy, DO NOT introduce him to your friends.
I think it sends the wrong message.  While Auditor and I were at the bar, I was getting myself a bottle of water (secretly we were trying to get the attention of two cute guys we’d spotted near the bar, but more on that later), I turn around and find her talking to a guy she wasn’t interested in, X.  I got bottle, went up to her and said “Let’s go.”  She stopped and introduced him to me instead.  I said hi, exchanged names with X, repeated “Let’s go” and grabbed her out of there.  Later, when Auditor was on a mission to get the phone number of one of the cute guys above, she got accosted by X, who kept her for a few minutes, and she ended up not even talking to the cute guy.  I sent her back again to get cute guy’s number.  More on that later.  Point is, introducing a guy to your friends is a sign of acceptance, by allowing him to get to know you by getting to know your friends, and acknowledging him among the group of people close to you.  Friends are a very personal thing, I think, and introducing a guy to them is usually a sign of acceptance and green light.

4) Dresses must be tight, skimpy, and reveal something, if not almost everything, if you want to get a man.
The Auditor and I went a little classier last night.  Nice dresses, skirts below the knee.  Sorry we’re tasteful.  That’s just who we are.  We love elegant dresses, which are pretty and still make us look good and desirable.  Unfortunately, when you put that up against skinny girls in cleavage-revealing, ass-hugging clothes, you’re bound to lose.

5) Dressing as above is only if you want to pick up a guy for sex.
I’m sorry, but it’s true.  Everyone there was only there to either make out or have sex with someone.  Bars are not the place to meet nice men (except maybe cute guy, I promise that story is coming soon!).

Lessons to be learned:
1) I need to learn that I am not always the problem.
I came home feeling really sad and rejected, but I guess that’s life.  I have to remember that if the guy doesn’t dare to come up to me, that’s not my problem.  The guy who can come up to me and say hello is a man worthy of my attention.  And we’re not talking drunken sleazebags here.

2) I do need to be conscious of my body language.
After awhile, I think my body language said, “Fuck you, leave me alone.”  Partly because I was so damn bored, and there wasn’t anyone around, except cute guy who showed up a little too late.

3) I need to remember that I am not butt-ugly.
And being skinny and dressing like you’re undressing will not necessarily get you a good man.

So, to continue cute guy’s story:  His name is Sam.  Auditor went up and asked for his number, said her friend was interested, and pointed out to me.  He asked me what my name was.  He said to give him a few minutes to finish a conversation he was having with his friend, and he’d come over.  Auditor came back to me, and we waited a bit.  But our other friends were leaving already, and they were waiting for us.  I waited a little longer, and I swear he was looking over in my direction.  I’m not sure if he knew which girl Auditor was talking about, but she did say red dress, and I was the only red dress in that direction, and trust me, you cannot miss me in my red dress.  But I felt bad for making the others wait, so I left.  DAMN.  I wish I’d stayed just a little longer.

I am tired of doing all the work.  I am tired of men not daring to approach me.  COME ON!  It’s not that hard.  Other guys do it all the time.  I’m not that unattainable or unapproachable, if you have decent manners and a brain and know how to use them.  I’m not that gorgeous or beautiful or hot that guys think I’m out of their league.  I’m pretty sure I’m not butt-ugly either.  So what is up???  ARGH!  *bashes head against wall in frustration*

2010 resolution:  Fuck dating, fuck picking up guys, and fuck men, and I certainly don’t mean that in the physical way.

Edit: How do you get the smell of cigarette smoke out of your hair?  I just washed my hair with some papaya milk shampoo and conditioner, but it still smells of cigs!  Bleurgh.  Yes, KL is still one of those few places in the world where you can smoke indoors at bars, pubs and restaurants.